This post is a bit off speed from what I generally write about but since I recently committed to a college and graduated high school I figured I’d open up about my experience with the college admissions process for anyone who is preparing for college applications or thinking about their future after high school. The past year has been the most stressful of my life. I have dealt with severe anxiety, panic attacks, and depressive episodes, along with the searing pain of not getting into a dream school. This is the reality that thousands of high school seniors face. I am not telling this story to be an image of sympathy or pity, but simply because I know that thousands of other people feel or felt hopeless and isolated during this time and I want them to know that they are not alone.
In 2019, getting into college has never been more difficult, competitive, or elitist–as seen so glaringly in the recent college admissions scandal. Colleges that in 2015 had an acceptance rate of 30% have now dropped to 12% and the pressure put on students to score nearly perfect on the SAT has sky-rocketed. The college admissions process has become a sport, one that is impossible to master and acts on a case-by-case basis, ensuring that logic rarely prevails. I could continue to explain the many flaws that lie within the college admissions industry but that will not change the reality of the system, the only thing we, as students, can do is learn to cope with it.
First, do NOT be afraid to put your mental health first. I know that is is extremely easy to neglect your own needs when you are working so fervently to get into your top school but your mental state directly impacts your performance in every other aspect of your life. Whether it be on standardized tests, college essays, academics, or in your social life, your mental state will be reflected and the vicious cycle of self-doubt and anxiety will prevail if you don’t take care of yourself. I know that this is much easier said than done, believe me, but at least knowing, even if it is in the back of your mind, that it is more than okay to put your needs first is a step in the right direction.
Second, do not give up. I know it’s clique and you’ve probably had adults say this to you a thousand times but it’s true. Receiving a rejection letter from any school is painful but receiving one from a dream school can be crippling. I know what this feels like and I know the damage it does to your self esteem, self worth, and hope. After I received the dreaded rejection letter, I felt like a shell of my former self, which may sound dramatic but when you put so much of your identity and heart into a dream and it doesn’t work out, it’s crushing. I completely lost all confidence I had in myself and my abilities and I didn’t think that any school would accept me after that, but that is not the case at all. When you receive a setback like that, the only thing left to do is get back up and keep trying, even if you are still struggling with the former rejection. It is a difficult thing to do but if you keep trying and putting in effort, eventually it will pay off.
Third, you are more than a number. There is an incredible amount of pressure put on students to get the highest test score, GPA, or class rank in order to “succeed.” There is no one path or one number to achieve “success,” for success can not be defined by some text book definition or by who has the highest SAT score. Success is whatever you define it as. Last summer, I prepared rigorously for the SAT, so much so that the ideal score I had set for myself in my mind became part of how I defined myself as a student and a person. When I fell short of that goal score, the way I viewed myself drastically changed–I no longer thought of myself as a hardworking and intelligent person but as someone who wasn’t good enough or didn’t work hard enough to achieve my goals. I thought that because my SAT score wasn’t perfect that colleges would neglect the rest of my application and I would essentially be reduced to, in their minds, a number. This way of thinking is dangerous and inaccurate because it fosters a mindset of perpetual insufficiency within students. Although it is good to have an goal score or number in mind, try not to let it define you as a person because there is so much more to a person’s identity than their standardized test score.
The college admissions process in this day in age is extremely competitive and sometimes almost unbearably stressful. The system contains many flaws but, for better or for worse, it is the reality of the American education system and as students the only thing we can do is learn how to manage it. For anyone entering this process, don’t be scared, it is only a year of your life and once it is over, it will all be worth it. Whether you are preparing for college applications or are just beginning to think about what you want to pursue after high school, do not forget to value yourself and your mental health above all else because in the end that is what sets you apart.
Abby Road 